Sunday, September 9, 2012

Hate, the story creation, and Creators in general


Hate, the story creation, and Creators in general

I have been holding a grudge for a quite a long time, well for me at least. Been holding it for close to two weeks now, and all of a sudden I don’t feel it at all.  I just woke up, and I didn’t feel filled full of hate. I feel clear, I think that is because of this new story I started. This new story is dark, it is monstrous, it is about a character into which I pushed all my hatred and anger, and malice; and for some reason I guess the story caught my emotions.  It is like all the stuff that was boiling up inside me just poured into the story, and when it went there I no longer had it inside me, and it feels good. I need to finish the story of course, but when I am done being the worst human being imaginable, I think that at the end of it, there won’t be quite so much bile in me anymore.  Now the reason for the hatred is still there, and until there is some recompense it won’t go away, but I daresay I feel like I can let go if I am compensated for my pain. In fact even without it, I think I will let the punishment go on for a few more days, then just let it go. I won’t go into the story, suffice to say I do not feel like sharing it online, and feel it would be a bit too bad to publish in any form.

It makes you think though, if what I feel is any indication, a creation can be a way of releasing our worst most vicious thoughts, and into it we can pour ourselves into it. What if gods do the same? What if our purpose is the same, to be receptacles for their pain, and sometimes yes their joy?   It seems like if they are anything like us at all, that would be the case. We are essentially the vehicles for them to play out their own pain, and emotions; and when they are virtuous perhaps it is because they have done something dark somewhere else, and when they are not virtuous perhaps it is because they have done something light somewhere else.  Why is the world the way it is? It is because the creator, creators, or whatever are like us, and they perhaps see us as I see my story, something to pour their pain into. If the world is a story, then should they feel guilt about what they do; I will admit I do not feel guilt when I write my story, why should the creators when writing ours?    

Saturday, September 8, 2012

I like zombies


I like zombies

Okay for this piece there is no diatribe against ‘The Man’, no philosophical discussion, no talk about space stuff, even I get tired of always talking about high minded stuff. For this talk I want to talk about my favorite topic at least right now, and that is my favorite of all monsters the zombie. Why do I like anything to do with zombies, well its not some necrophiliac love of undeadness  sexually I  can tell you that.  Its because it achieves that perfect blend of apocalyptic (something I was rather into when I  was younger), political, and also distills that special blend of humanity that I think really makes us all special.  You see the zombie genre is so all inclusive, you can look at the types in any given movie or comic, and there are all types from all across the spectrum of Western civilization. This applies to those who love zombies, and also the stories of zombies themselves. Now I love B movies, and in all B movies there are specific rules, and a zombie movie or story is no different. But there are some differences,  in the standard zombie scenario the heros or heroines are not stereotypical, they do not discriminate based on race, political persuasion, or  redneckness. A scenario can include as the primary protagonist, a asshole redneck as the primary hero and he even survives to the end, it can also include a black hero who also survives right to the end, and as any B movie aficionado will tell you the black dudes and redneck assholes typically get it first, not so in a zombie movie or story. Everybody and nobody has a chance in a zombie scenario, it is dependent on what happens. That’s another thing I like, the realism, ignoring the impossible animated flesh concept, who gets it is typically based on real world rules, who survives survives not because of any  ‘specialness’ but because they survived, no more no less. In any other scenario they survive because they are good, or they did the right thing, or something in the world allowed them to survive.

What else? When you get to talk to zombie lovers in the real world, you see they represent a diversity that you don’t see typically anywhere else.  You get all kinds, you get the gun nuts, you get the liberals, the environmentalists, the conservatives, and the moderates; and it’s a warm feeling when zombie lovers come together, because on this one thing we agree on. People might think that we are weird because of our love of the zombie apocalypse, but we as a group understand, and it is nice being a part of that weird click. If you look at the actual stories you see the same thing, maybe one reason why I like the zombie scenario, is that in that world, a horrible world no doubt, we have to band together no matter who we are, or we die and its that simple.  It’s a nostalgia that perhaps dates back to our hunter gatherer days, when the price of divisiveness was just that, death. When cooperation was backed by the ultimate guarantor of all, and all of us had to work together, to accept our differences, and use them to live and survive or we died.  So anyway perhaps I did delve into the philosophical a wee bit, in closing I love anything zombie.

Friday, September 7, 2012

We are the center of it all or so we think


We are the center of it all or so we think

You would think in the modern age that the age old idea of humanity being at the center of it all would have vanished by now. That with the Earth no longer being at the center of things, with it going around the sun, and with the knowledge that we are nothing special in the grand scheme of things would have changed our thinking, but it hasn’t. After 9/11 every American thought they personally would be attacked; myself I just didn’t consider myself all that special. It seems like the reality of the universe is to be indifferent to humanity, and yet we still act as if we are significant. Some people I know always lock their doors even when it is the safest neighborhood imaginable; it is as if they believe in their heart of hearts that the universe will personally  make a appearance, that the criminal or rapist or murderer will deliberately seek them out specifically out of all the people around them for that specific crime. Apparently, I think, people think that we are special in both evil and good acts, that it circles around them and nobody else, this luck this fate, and so they panic about what in reality has a insignificant chance of ever happening.  I think that it is this special feeling of being at the center of it all that makes us think we will win the lotto, or that we will catch a specific rare disease (a disease that in this metaphor  will have a insignificant chance of infecting them). It amazes me that they think that fate or God, or the Devil or whatever, would truly take a interest in little old them out of all the billions of people on the face of the planet, its them it will listen to. There’s a lot of examples of such self centerness, we pray for god to bless our country, or our sports teams; and we think that we deserve such special consideration. This is not a diatribe against a person’s faith, but in the application, really a God that is the god of all  mankind, of the entire universe will play favorites?   The lightning bolt will not actively seek you and only you, the hurricane does not act because of your beliefs; in short the universe does not revolve around you.   If you are a believer, then it is God that does not revolve around you, actions of things greater then you are not controlled by you. You are not special, except in the little world that you create.  So next time you are afraid of something, or are expecting something great,  get over yourself, you just aren’t special enough to warrant attention. Fear and expect things that at least have some reasonable realistic chance of happening, at least then who you are would be in proportion to the reality.

Solutions and Questions


Solutions and Questions

It’s always been a cliché that all you need in life is to ask the right questions, there are a dime dozen sayings like that, and all of them miss the real answer. I’ve always found the solutions easy to find, and questions even easier, and I am not so arrogant as to think that I am any different from my fellow man. I think its not the questions that are hard, nor the answers, but it is what we are willing to give up that is hard. Those questions and answers are hard not because they are hard to find, but because they come with a price, and the solutions we seek are usually preferred to be with as little of a price as possible. The real question that we should ask when looking at the low cost solution and question, is if it is desirable to go with that or if the hard choice is the one that is best in the long run. A person can wait a eternity for the right question and solution, for the ‘magic’ wish, or one can go with the choice that has a price and a hard one. It might seem to be the best to go with the ‘magic’ choice, but it is my experience that the ‘magic’ choice does not exist and is a product of human wishful thinking, and of the desire to avoid the pain of facing the reality of what questions and solutions exist in the real world. A lot of the time somebody will say something is impossible or that there is no solution, but again in my experience what they a really mean is that the solutions they see are not the ones that they like. Therein lies the problem, we don’t like the questions or the solutions, it is not impossible, and there are a great many solutions, just none of them within our preference. Of course there is another problem the things we tend not to like we tend not to see, so when somebody say’s it’s impossible or there are no solutions, it might also be a case of their mind editing out the solutions they don’t like. There is problems with that of course, reality doesn’t care if we edit our version of reality, it usually says screw you to us, and then we get presented with the hard question and solution whether we like it or not. Eventually our remarkable capability to deny reality reaches its limits and we are forced to see the solutions we do not like, or not, and perhaps it’s the not seeing that kills us. There is a price for not seeing solutions and questions as well, and the ultimate price is the obvious one of death.

So advice, try and separate your ego from your mind, most of the time its more trouble than it’s worth, and  prevents you from seeing what you need to see,  and just because something is unpleasant  to you doesn’t mean that it still isn’t the best solution. In the real world there will never be a magic solution or question, so go with what reality presents not what your mind edits out.

Alien Invasion


Alien Invasion

It’s a fairly common theme in science fiction, usually with it being somewhere along the lines of them being after our resources or in the even cheesier iterations our women.  Usually you see, at least looking back at the 1930s, tentacled aliens going after big breasted blonde women. Most of the time  the argument after now would typically say its all absurd, or say advanced civilizations don’t make war, or don’t invade, or logically there are to many resources to fight over. All of the rationalizations tend to forget a few things, one the history of our civilization as it goes from more primitive to more advanced hasn’t exactly gone from less peaceful to more peaceful.  Two wars are typically fought over actual resources vs. potential resources (remember the talk about space resources, well it’s the same thing, why develop your own if you can more cheaply take it from somebody else). Three,  wars also often times do not involve rational reasons, you have only to look at human history to see this, if we are capable to prosecuting wars for irrational reasons, it’s the height of absurdity to think a alien species couldn’t. Four wars are very often fought for rational reasons, for resources, for power, and the most basic of all reasons survival.

You see the problem I have with people who think of alien life, is that they tend to incorporate very little of reality into their diagnoses, in their own way they are as absurd as those old 1930s ideas of aliens, but with one difference at least the old 1930s alien conceptions weren’t intended to be serious. Now a rational person would try and incorporate what we know of the only intelligent species we know of (us, and yes I’ve hear the joke no intelligent life here, lets presume for the moment we are intelligent),  and use that knowledge to extrapolate some information about what intelligent life out there would be like. Instead they say well it’s impossible to know what they will be like, and so ignore the entirety of human history because none of the E.T.s could possibly be even slightly like us. When you try and use human  history to offer predictive models, it’s  usually well we are the anomaly, and our history couldn’t  possibly predict what is out there. Yes the aliens could be so  alien we don’t know anything,  yes they could have a entirely different history; but it  is still reasonable to at least start with our own  history to serve as if nothing else a baseline for comparison, and a starting point to make useful predictions. It is reasonable to start with the one intelligent species we can confirm to have existed, us.

So nonsensical rant done with, to the nitty gritty, a alien invasion. Since I want to have fun writing this, I won’t delve into every historical example imaginable, but will pick and choose the ones I like.  To start with every example of a advanced civilization meeting a more primitive civilization usually results with the advanced civilization winning. This is a indisputable fact, primitives usually get screwed. But what the history books typically get wrong is the why of how they were screwed. Most of the time the reasons follow along the lines of our superior technology allowed us to defeat them, blah blah, nothing else mattered, but our superior nature.  And most of the time people accept those reasons, because it suits their egos, because we are the ancestors of that civilization that won.

However looking at the facts, we see it wasn’t the superior technology which allowed the more advanced civilization to defeat the primitive. Therein lies the hope for our own civilization when faced with a more advanced alien civilization invading. One the very first colonists were typically rather pathetic and depended on native help to survive. The case of Jamestown, the Puritans, and even Cortez’s conquistadors all required native help to survive, to establish their particular branch of civilization. We see in those cases that it is when the colonists first arrive that they are at their most vulnerable, and it is then when they are most vulnerable. This makes sense from a human history viewpoint but also from a payload capacity viewpoint. Put simply using normal conventional ways to crossing interstellar space, you need large amounts of energy to get up to a certain fraction of the speed of light. The more mass you push, and the faster you go the more prohibitive the energy cost. So there is basically a payload limitation the faster you go, there is less of a energy cost to push less mass. You can  get more payload, but you get less speed and slow down your transit speed. So alien ship traveling at high fractions of the speed of light is likely to get here with comparatively little in terms of mass, and also whatever capacity they have for maintaining their own civilization. To push this analogy into human history it is like Puritans arriving, having few guns, few numbers, and only their pathetic survival skills to get them through the winter. They might technically be more advanced, but it doesn’t buy them food, or the industrial capacity to replenish their supplies.

In the hypothetical alien ship example, them coming to conquer, means they might have a few advanced weapons, but once they have exhausted their stocks, they have only the high ground of space, and no advanced technical infrastructure to rebuild those stocks. The high ground of space is a significant asset, but it is useless without the capability to exploit it. The aliens in this scenario must be prevented from building their infrastructure so that they don’t build more of those advanced weapons. So two strategies, continual attacks to reduce their advanced weapons, and attacks on their attempts to create  a high technology infrastructure. The worst part from the viewpoint of the Indians surviving with regard to the Puritans was letting them survive and grow, as it was partly the cause of their near extinction.

Two is a bit worse from a viewpoint of defending against advanced civilizations. In that advanced civilizations often time come with a set of negative side effects born of living in their own world. In the case of the Westerner civilization against the Native Americans it was diseases nasty enough to wipe out the majority of the population. Now this is possible but relatively unlikely when it comes to alien species invading, as whatever diseases they have would not infect us most diseases we know of tend  to  be  species specific, and using history that means  both sides would be unaffected by the other’s  diseases. Does this mean no lessons may be learned from human history, in regard to the negative carrier problem?  No, it doesn’t, because as we know disease denied Western civilization a large scale foothold in Africa even up to today. Even though their diseases  would not a affect us and ours theirs, it is not inconceivable to develop a bioweapon capable of only infecting the invading species,  this would require some significant knowledge of the  species, but in principle it could be used to deny  a alien species our world much as disease did to the white man in Africa. Of course there are two downsides to the strategy, one they are as capable of slowly designing a bioweapon as we are, and two creating a perfect area denial weapon also prevents the aliens from using our world which might mean they upgrade the response to say pushing a asteroid into impact with the Earth. Best advice for creating a bioweapon would be to use existing pseudo life that already lives in the aliens, much as life such as bacteria lives in us, and modify that life to be hostile.

It’s a bit harder to envision other negative carrier problems, I can think of a few but they primarily involve Von Neumann terraforming fleets going ahead of the aliens, or nano tech. Nano tech is one of the few areas of their advanced that might give us some hope; as it like any form of technology would have the problems of having to adapt to our current environment. This ‘adaptation’ might take the form of the aliens designing in modifications with regard to our current environment, but would still take time for it to be implemented. Nano on the alien side also runs the problems of any replicating system, in that it could mutate or even be affected by our own native life, in a interesting parallel to the War of the world’s scenario. But as to active resistance to said life, would depend on what design the alien invaders use. But our options would consist of three options, one active destruction of nano matter through say nukes, or directed energy weapons (experimental at this point but still possible), or very high yield conventional explosives; two would be what I call the disruption strategy and it consists of two possibilities, one the use of electromagnetic pulse or perhaps information attacks such as hacks of software governing the nanos, and two a indirect strategy, or poisoning the nano basically. Nano technology like all forms of technology would require specific combinations of materials in order to replicate, it should be possible to disrupt the replication ability by allowing the nano to ingest a combination of materials of various minerals, rather like it is possible to disrupt any life form’s ability to replicate by doing the same.

Strategies for contesting the alien’s space superiority are problematic, as currently our offensive space capability consists of a few antisatellite weapons, and nuclear weapons which can hit only hit LEO at best. This could be changed if we repurpose a few of the current boosters which already have a high earth to solar system launch capability, however this is likely to take some time and preparation. But other than that, most resistance is likely to take place on the ground. One advantage the people on earth have is in the alien invasion scenario for the invaders need to preserve the infrastructure. Without that need, aliens could use more destructive weaponry without which we could not defend against. It is important in any alien invasion scenario to strike a balance between resistance and pushing the invaders too far. A alien invasion consists of buying time until we can learn enough to be a true threat, it also consists in destroying just enough but not too much. In a way it is best if we accept the alien invaders,  as  the alternative is our annihilation, even if our decision is resistance, if we cannot push  them  off world, then it is best to draw them in  where our advantages are  best, and not where they have the advantage which is in orbit.

The third of the lessons from history in resistance applies to unity, later when the Native Americans had some technological parity, the Western powers were able to play the divided Indians up against each other, when the Western powers were just as divided as the Native Americans in some ways. In a alien invasion scenario, this lesson applies when the invaders have already established themselves, without a coordinated capacity for responding to the aliens, they can use our divisions against us. Ideally this strategy can work, but works best when the aliens themselves are as divided as we are, if they are unified it works only well  enough to ensure they do not use our divisions against us.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Time and space are a melody couched in the fabric of the human mind

Okay okay its doggerel, but hey what do you expect from a all nighter. I wanted to write it, and it wrote itself, I don't expect it to be good. 


Time and space are a melody couched in the fabric of the human mind. A melody that changes with all of our grief, sadness and joy; a song that touches the highest heavens, and the deepest hells; that ensnares the righteous, and the damned. Eternity here, Infinity there, locked in the deepest embrace; shifting throughout all that we see and hear, and smell. Endings exist, fences built, and boundaries determined all in the souls of man and woman. Does it exist? Do we exist? Does the song exist? Perhaps only in the momentary instant, and then is gone, like bubbles upon the ocean sea. All away before the mind, acceptance of death, denial of life; and all the world a graveyard besides. Besides the song of now, of later and long ago, the ancient ghosts always feared, running constantly upon specters of the future,  specters created of our own mind.

A momentary being, a creature of many nows, in a universe upon which the soul quails at its empty vastness. A  breath taken,  a love betrayed,  a breath released,  a ending of the moment, and death has  come for us. All hail the soul, a momentary respite in the frothy sea of eternity and infinity.

Grief is a selfish thing


Grief is a selfish thing
My dog recently died, he was my only real friend in the whole world, the only creature I legitimately trusted  wholeheartedly.   I  don’t mean that in any sense of hyperbole, or exaggeration he literally was not only my best friend, but my only friend.  The why of why I have no friends, I established a long time ago, its rather obviously a flaw into me, perhaps of courage, or of weirdness, but that flaw I already know is me.  But that is besides the point, the point is when I grieved I thought only of how much he meant to me, of how much I loved him, and I know it shouldn’t be so selfish but that is where my mind  was wandering. Wandering into how he meant to me, how much he loved me, really its all about me. It’s not about how my dog felt, it’s about I felt about my dog. Not a deep message, but it seems that grief is such selfish thing couched in me, me, me. It’s the feeling of loss from being separated from them, it’s the memories you treasure, the grief that you will no longer experience those memories any more.  It’s the graveyards, the cemeteries, and the rituals we make with death in general. Is the crying about those  we had lost, or about the vacuum left by the lost? If I was dead I would not care a whit about what happened to my body, but it is important to those who might grieve for me. Grief is for the living, it is the emotional goodbye,  a  goodbye that we always have trouble letting go of. All the rituals associated with death, are there not for those who died but for those who live, they are there to help us let go, at least theoretically. Letting go is always so hard, especially so if they were such a part of you; I have no real answers for the grief. It goes away when the memories die, when life covers it up with swamp of new experience; I  grieve, I feel sad because yes I am selfish, but also because in the moment  my dog mattered to me, even if  long down the road the emotions of sadness will fade.

I guess why I feel bad about it is the guilt that what I should be feeling should be more selfless, and less selfish.