Sunday, September 9, 2012

Hate, the story creation, and Creators in general


Hate, the story creation, and Creators in general

I have been holding a grudge for a quite a long time, well for me at least. Been holding it for close to two weeks now, and all of a sudden I don’t feel it at all.  I just woke up, and I didn’t feel filled full of hate. I feel clear, I think that is because of this new story I started. This new story is dark, it is monstrous, it is about a character into which I pushed all my hatred and anger, and malice; and for some reason I guess the story caught my emotions.  It is like all the stuff that was boiling up inside me just poured into the story, and when it went there I no longer had it inside me, and it feels good. I need to finish the story of course, but when I am done being the worst human being imaginable, I think that at the end of it, there won’t be quite so much bile in me anymore.  Now the reason for the hatred is still there, and until there is some recompense it won’t go away, but I daresay I feel like I can let go if I am compensated for my pain. In fact even without it, I think I will let the punishment go on for a few more days, then just let it go. I won’t go into the story, suffice to say I do not feel like sharing it online, and feel it would be a bit too bad to publish in any form.

It makes you think though, if what I feel is any indication, a creation can be a way of releasing our worst most vicious thoughts, and into it we can pour ourselves into it. What if gods do the same? What if our purpose is the same, to be receptacles for their pain, and sometimes yes their joy?   It seems like if they are anything like us at all, that would be the case. We are essentially the vehicles for them to play out their own pain, and emotions; and when they are virtuous perhaps it is because they have done something dark somewhere else, and when they are not virtuous perhaps it is because they have done something light somewhere else.  Why is the world the way it is? It is because the creator, creators, or whatever are like us, and they perhaps see us as I see my story, something to pour their pain into. If the world is a story, then should they feel guilt about what they do; I will admit I do not feel guilt when I write my story, why should the creators when writing ours?    

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