Porn and the gateway method of perversion

Porn and the gateway method of perversion

I will go through stages in which I am really bored of porn, and I will essentially quit any kind of sexual anything for quite a while. But you see the problem is that I will when I come back (and I always come back, I’m a man, I have needs after all, and I totally suck at life and women specifically), I will try and up the ante. By upping the ante, I mean that I need to find something even kinkier to make the porn seem interesting again.  So the result is I started with standard couples male female, now I am into 3d porn, and so forth. You see it’s like how they always talk about the gateway method when it comes to drugs, for me it’s porn. The thing is when I do my business, I usually just end up deleting most of it anyway, I spend ours looking for interesting porn to wank of to, and delete the majority of it. Then after my need for sex is exhausted, I will start the same cycle over again, only this time I will need to get more perverted when it comes to my porn searches. I have no reservations about this being the exactly healthiest thing to do, what is the old saying you repeat something and expect different results and that is the definition of insanity. My habits when it comes to porn, do tend to follow this pattern as well, sometimes I will get so bored of porn that I abandon it then come back to more perverted porn, other times I will do what I call comfort porn, Porn I know very well, and use but abandon even quicker.

So you see the porn tends to drive a positive reinforcing cycle of more fantasy and more perversion.

I know the solution, don’t get me wrong, the key is to anchor myself into reality better, but that would actually require getting a girl, and that is where my catch 22 is. You see I have a great many flaws, and those flaws are what make sex, and girls nigh impossible for me to realistically contemplate. All my contemplation of girls primarily figures into scenario running, or simply I am more comfortable thinking of them in a fantasy way then a real way. This is not a lack of knowledge I am talking about, I have studied people quite well, and understand them very well,  but it is basic thing that is missing  in me, a incomplete circuit somewhere in  brain, that experiences the need but  is unable to prosecute the action to fulfill that need. I am not arrogant about it, once upon a time not knowing what made people tick would  have been my  problem, but I have amassed enough knowledge  to satisfy that problem, now it’s a inability to intuitively recognize and follow through on signals that people take for granted.

Oh well that long talk about the why over, I tend to go through a increasing scale of perversion in proportion to how interesting it is and how bored I am.